Rihanna

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==Artist Bio==
==Artist Bio==
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Rihanna is a Barbadian <sup>[Barbanian? Barbodian? Bardashian?]</sup> supermodel who was signed to a recording contract by Def Jam Records.
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Rihanna was born in Barbados.  
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Rihanna was born in Saint Michael, Barbados in 1988. In 2005, she swam to American and arrived on a Monday. By Friday she had a record deal and 2 #1 singles. Over the next few years she became a world-famous singles artist, fashion icon and video vixen.
 
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===The Incident===
 
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In 2009, Rihanna was involved in a domestic violence altercation with her then-boyfriend Chris Brown.
 
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Brown was charged with one count of felony assault and one count of making criminal threats. Brown pleaded guilty to a felony and accepted a plea deal of community labor, five years of probation, and domestic violence counseling.
 
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As a direct consequence of the incident Brown was blacklisted from mainstream radio, video outlets, and his music was bashed by critics. As apart of a restraining order he was ordered to stay 50 feet away from Rihanna, which meant that he was banned from promoting his music on most award shows. As a result of his criminal record he had to cancel a European tour when his work visa was denied.
 
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Despite all of this, he was able to score a #1 album on the Billboard 200.
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[[http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/rihanna/rihannafan.gif|right|100px|caption]]
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The average Rihanna stan.
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==Rihanna Stans==
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Listless stans looking for something to do with their time, when while their favorite artist is pregnant or on tour in Asia.
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Rihanna's fans are known as the Navy. In is unclear how they got the name, but there are two popular theories:
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1. Navy -----> Naval Fleet -----> Fleet
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2. The fact that Rihanna swam to America from Barbados.
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==Rihanna Stan Strengths ==
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Being a Rihanna stan requires no big imposition on your wallet, attention span or brain cells. The Navy excels in any task that can be done on a mobile device and costs no more $1.29 including, but not limited to, Trending topics, singles, Vevo views and Facebook likes. Both Rihanna and The Navy have built a great sense of pride on exerting very little effort.
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==Rihanna Stan Weaknesses==
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Rihanna's middling success on the albums charts and her spotty tour receipts have lead to the Navy being criticized for being more of a theoretical fan base than a group with any type of useful purpose outside of the Internet. They are notorious for their sluggishness in buying albums and concert tickets, particularly in the United States. Some may argue that the Catch-22 of marketing an artist like Rihanna is that anyone who finds her entertaining wouldn't have $10 to spare, but it is more than a little classist to make fun of the Navy for not having any money.  It may seem odd that the Navy can't find the "Buy Album" button, but if we examine the finances of the average Rihanna stan you will see where the problem lies. Once their BreedItRaw checks come in the mail, and State and Federal taxes are deducted, then they must pay bus fare to get to the public library to use the computers to watch Rihanna's VEVO channel and make trending topics like "Rihanna is a Legind". Once you subtract money used for food, Rainbow clothing and antibiotics there simply isn't enough money left for a $10 album, a $10 movie ticket or a $3 concert ticket.
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===Biggest Misconception About Rihanna Stans===
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The biggest misconception about Rihanna stans is that they are vapid, basic, illiterate, embarrassing stereotypes who are only interested in fashion, sex, and partying. This is untrue.
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They're also interested in hair.
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===Why Her Stans Love Her===
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When you fantasize about being a rich and glamorous superstar you don't fantasize about spending hours in a rehearsal studio or a vocal coach's office; you dream about all of the money, power, clothes and miscellaneous celebrity cock that come along with being rich, famous and beautiful. In an era of reality TV and YouTube channels it has become 100% acceptable to stan for people with no other discernible talent other than being ratchet, so it's slightly hypocritical to criticize Rihanna for being a tone-deaf, rhythmless, unsanitary record label puppet, and then stan for one of the Real Housewives of Baltimore County. This is the era of fame by any means necessary; fuck talent, respect and longevity. At least Rihanna puts her mediocrity over a catchy beat.  
==Career Highlights==
==Career Highlights==
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* 11 #1 Singles
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* Has 11 #1 Singles, the youngest person in the history of the Hot 100 to achieve that feat.
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* Fashion icon
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* 1a #1 Singles
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* Her collaborations with Kanye and Jay-Z have won multiple Grammys. Her solo work has won one Grammy.
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* Video Music Award for Video of The Year ("Umbrella")
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* 5 Grammys
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* Has more likes on Facebook than any other <s>artist</s> <s> entertainer</s> music-related person.
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* 1a #1 Singles
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* The entire Good Girl Gone Bad era (minus the live performances)
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* Has over 20 million followers on Twitter.
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* The Loud Era (in England and on iTunes)
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* 11 #1 Singles
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* Has more friends on BlackPlanet than any other female artist.
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* 11 #1 Singles
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* 11 #1 Singles
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* Has more friends on Oovoo than any other female artist.
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* 11 #1 Singles
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* 11 #1 Singles
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* Has more friends on MyVidster than any other female artist.
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* 11 #1 Singles
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* 11 #1 Singles
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* In 2011, Pollstar estimated that the Oceanic leg of the Last Girl on Earth Tour and the Loud tour grossed a combined total of $90 million, placing Rihanna a #7 on the Top 50 Highest Grossing Worldwide touring artists of 2011. She became the first female artist to make the list with two separate tours in the same calendar year since Britney Spears in 2000. After 6 years, 5 albums,  4 tours and numerous hit singles, it was her first time making the list.
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* 11 #1 Singles
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* 11 #1 Singles
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* Rihanna is the first and only digital-era female artist to have a Hot 100 single at peak at #1 for at least 10 weeks without that single being on a #1 album. (or a #2 album, for that matter.)
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* Her 6 albums have sold a combined total of 8 million copies in the United States and 25 million worldwide.
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* Ranks in the Top 10 of the most successful singles artists in the UK.
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* Has more Top 10 singles in Zimbabwe than any other female artist.
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* Has more Top 20 singles in Uzbekistan than another female artist.
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* Has more Top 10 Singles in Cambodia than any other solo female artist. (Only Xscape, Shaggy and S Club 7 have more.)
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* Has sold more digital singles in the Democratic Republic of the Congo than any other solo female artist.
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==Iconic Moments==
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Rihanna has had a very eventful career, but these are the moments that had the greatest impact on the general public:
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/rihanna/umbrella.jpg
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/rihanna/whatsloveinhotel.gif
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==Most Memorable Performances ==
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Rihanna has performed on stages around the world, but these are the Rihanna performances that had everyone talking the next day:
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/rihanna/scenemissing.gif
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==Performance Style==
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==How To Talk Like a Rihanna Stan==
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===What Rihanna Stans Think She Does On Stage===
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Like Britney stans, Rihanna stans have become symbols of what happens to children who learn how to read Mediabase charts before they learn how to read simple English. Rihanna Stans suffer from an extreme case of [http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/index.php?title=Britney_Spears#Britlexia Britlexia] which makes it difficult for them to read anything aside from a singles chart, and iTunes chart, or radio airplay statistics.
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/rihanna/beygoingawf.gif
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In order to communicate like Rihanna stan you must program your brain not to receive or distribute any information that is not on iTunes or the Hot 100.
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===What Rihanna Haters Think She Does On Stage===
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==How To Piss Off a Rihanna Stan==
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/rihanna/onstage.gif
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Any topic involving Chris Brown, Beyonce, #1 albums in the United States, selling concert tickets in the United States, dancing, or live singing should get them hot and bothered.
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===What Rihanna Actually  Does On Stage===
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/rihanna/rihonstage.gif
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Revision as of 11:49, 26 June 2012

Rihanna
default.jpg

Contents

Artist Bio

Rihanna was born in Barbados.










[[1]] The average Rihanna stan.




Rihanna Stans

Listless stans looking for something to do with their time, when while their favorite artist is pregnant or on tour in Asia.

Rihanna's fans are known as the Navy. In is unclear how they got the name, but there are two popular theories:

1. Navy -----> Naval Fleet -----> Fleet 2. The fact that Rihanna swam to America from Barbados.

Rihanna Stan Strengths

Being a Rihanna stan requires no big imposition on your wallet, attention span or brain cells. The Navy excels in any task that can be done on a mobile device and costs no more $1.29 including, but not limited to, Trending topics, singles, Vevo views and Facebook likes. Both Rihanna and The Navy have built a great sense of pride on exerting very little effort.

Rihanna Stan Weaknesses

Rihanna's middling success on the albums charts and her spotty tour receipts have lead to the Navy being criticized for being more of a theoretical fan base than a group with any type of useful purpose outside of the Internet. They are notorious for their sluggishness in buying albums and concert tickets, particularly in the United States. Some may argue that the Catch-22 of marketing an artist like Rihanna is that anyone who finds her entertaining wouldn't have $10 to spare, but it is more than a little classist to make fun of the Navy for not having any money. It may seem odd that the Navy can't find the "Buy Album" button, but if we examine the finances of the average Rihanna stan you will see where the problem lies. Once their BreedItRaw checks come in the mail, and State and Federal taxes are deducted, then they must pay bus fare to get to the public library to use the computers to watch Rihanna's VEVO channel and make trending topics like "Rihanna is a Legind". Once you subtract money used for food, Rainbow clothing and antibiotics there simply isn't enough money left for a $10 album, a $10 movie ticket or a $3 concert ticket.

Biggest Misconception About Rihanna Stans

The biggest misconception about Rihanna stans is that they are vapid, basic, illiterate, embarrassing stereotypes who are only interested in fashion, sex, and partying. This is untrue.

They're also interested in hair.

Why Her Stans Love Her

When you fantasize about being a rich and glamorous superstar you don't fantasize about spending hours in a rehearsal studio or a vocal coach's office; you dream about all of the money, power, clothes and miscellaneous celebrity cock that come along with being rich, famous and beautiful. In an era of reality TV and YouTube channels it has become 100% acceptable to stan for people with no other discernible talent other than being ratchet, so it's slightly hypocritical to criticize Rihanna for being a tone-deaf, rhythmless, unsanitary record label puppet, and then stan for one of the Real Housewives of Baltimore County. This is the era of fame by any means necessary; fuck talent, respect and longevity. At least Rihanna puts her mediocrity over a catchy beat.

Career Highlights

  • Has 11 #1 Singles, the youngest person in the history of the Hot 100 to achieve that feat.
  • Her collaborations with Kanye and Jay-Z have won multiple Grammys. Her solo work has won one Grammy.
  • Has more likes on Facebook than any other artist entertainer music-related person.
  • Has over 20 million followers on Twitter.
  • Has more friends on BlackPlanet than any other female artist.
  • Has more friends on Oovoo than any other female artist.
  • Has more friends on MyVidster than any other female artist.
  • In 2011, Pollstar estimated that the Oceanic leg of the Last Girl on Earth Tour and the Loud tour grossed a combined total of $90 million, placing Rihanna a #7 on the Top 50 Highest Grossing Worldwide touring artists of 2011. She became the first female artist to make the list with two separate tours in the same calendar year since Britney Spears in 2000. After 6 years, 5 albums, 4 tours and numerous hit singles, it was her first time making the list.
  • Rihanna is the first and only digital-era female artist to have a Hot 100 single at peak at #1 for at least 10 weeks without that single being on a #1 album. (or a #2 album, for that matter.)
  • Her 6 albums have sold a combined total of 8 million copies in the United States and 25 million worldwide.
  • Ranks in the Top 10 of the most successful singles artists in the UK.
  • Has more Top 10 singles in Zimbabwe than any other female artist.
  • Has more Top 20 singles in Uzbekistan than another female artist.
  • Has more Top 10 Singles in Cambodia than any other solo female artist. (Only Xscape, Shaggy and S Club 7 have more.)
  • Has sold more digital singles in the Democratic Republic of the Congo than any other solo female artist.

Iconic Moments

Rihanna has had a very eventful career, but these are the moments that had the greatest impact on the general public:

umbrella.jpg

whatsloveinhotel.gif

Most Memorable Performances

Rihanna has performed on stages around the world, but these are the Rihanna performances that had everyone talking the next day:

scenemissing.gif

Performance Style

What Rihanna Stans Think She Does On Stage

beygoingawf.gif

What Rihanna Haters Think She Does On Stage

onstage.gif

What Rihanna Actually Does On Stage

rihonstage.gif


See also:

Rihanna Reign

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