Lady Gaga

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Lady Gaga
Yet another subdued and understated performance from Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga is a very popular intersex pop singer who has snatched more wigs in 2 years than most of your favorites have in 10 years. She has won 2 Grammys and 11 MTV Video Music Awards, among other awards. Her Monster Ball tour will become one of the most successful tours in history and according to stan mathematics she has sold 15 million albums and 51 million singles worldwide.


Alliance With Beyonce

Shortly after the success of her debut album Gaga formed an alliance with Beyonce. It went something like this:

Beyonce: Hi.

Gaga: Hi.

Beyonce: I perceive you to be problematic.

Gaga: What do you mean?

Beyonce: I perceive you to be a threat and therefore I will put a root on you and your career. Nothing personal, just business.

Gaga: Why can't we form an alliance?

Beyonce: What do you mean?

Gaga: How about I slay and take 2 days off, then you you slay and take 2 days off, and periodically we come together to drag Christina Aguilera.

Beyonce: Ok, sounds cool.

Gaga: You wanna go to the Cheesecake Factory and then finger bang each other afterward?

Beyonce: Sure.

Gaga Stans

As with most stans, Gaga stans have no sense of history and seem to believe that Lady Gaga invented the following things:

  • Music Videos
  • Avant Garde Fashion
  • Water
  • Pop Music
  • Anal Sex
  • Oxygen
  • The Solar System
  • Beyonce
  • Bisexualty

Lady Gaga Stans & Stan Wars

  • Because Gaga is the current Great White Hope this has caused Christina stans, Britney Spears stans, and some Madonna stans to be in a bit of a tizzy.
  • She has also become a fashion icon and is known for her eccentric wardrobe creations (i.e. wearing a dress made of bloody tampons). She also broke the records for the most No. 1 pop songs from a debut album. This, of course, has made Rihanna stans a bit salty.
  • Also, Gaga stans have not held up their end of the Beyonce/Gaga alliance so there may be a Beyonce stan versus Gaga stan battle in 2011.

Lady Gaga Stans vs. Britney Spears Stans

Shortly after "Bionic" dropped down low and swept the bottom of the charts with it, Gaga stans and Britney Spears stans turned on each other.

Gaga and Britney both had Spring 2011 releases planned. Gaga had been touting her new single "Marketed Born This Way" since the 1987 VMAs. Britney's single (I already forgot the name of it) debuted at #1. Shortly afterward, lyrics to Gaga's lead single were released and Britney stans were so not pressed about it.

They were so not pressed that they created anti-Gaga blogs.

They were so not pressed that they spammed Gaga message boards.

They were so not pressed about Gaga, they went to door-to-door like Jehovah's Witnesses passing out Britney's press kit (13 years in the game, 823 million records sold, 922 million Twitter followers, most searched on Yahoo!, and other such foolishness).

They were so not pressed, they formed a Twitter alliance with Christina Aguilera stans to make "FEMME FATALE" a trending topic the same week Gaga is due to release her new single.

As of now they are still fighting.

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