Janet Jackson

From Stan Wars

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{{Infobox
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|name        = Christina Aguilera
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|name        = Janet Jackson
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|title        = Janet Jackson
|title        = Janet Jackson
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|caption      = Never-before-seen dress rehearsal photo.
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==Artist Bio==
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'''Janet Jackson''' is a R&B/Pop/Dance icon famous for elaborate stage shows, videos, and 15-year long string of successful singles, albums, and tours.
'''Janet Jackson''' is a R&B/Pop/Dance icon famous for elaborate stage shows, videos, and 15-year long string of successful singles, albums, and tours.
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In 2004, she took her titty out and popped Justin Timberlake in the eye with it like a sock full of nickels. The media crucified her; the mainstream industry blacklisted her and pretty much erased 20 years of accomplishments.  
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In 2004, she took her titty out and popped Justin Timberlake in the eye with it like a sock full of nickels. The media crucified her; the mainstream industry blacklisted her and pretty much erased 20 years of accomplishments.
In 2009, her brother passed away and because of media sympathy (and guilt) she was the shit again from mid-September to early-November 2009 before people diverted their attention back to these [http://www.accesshollywood.com/content/images/115/originals/115863_music-video-lady-gaga-and-beyonce-telephone.jpg two lesbians].
In 2009, her brother passed away and because of media sympathy (and guilt) she was the shit again from mid-September to early-November 2009 before people diverted their attention back to these [http://www.accesshollywood.com/content/images/115/originals/115863_music-video-lady-gaga-and-beyonce-telephone.jpg two lesbians].
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==Janet Stans==
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==Performance Style==
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*Janet stans live in magical fairyland where Clinton is president, Janet is relevant, and A Different World still comes on every Thursday after the Cosby Show. In this fairyland Janet created the heavens, the earth, wind, water, fire, dance breakdowns, catsuits, and curly ponytails.
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*Janet stans suffer from a kind of [http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/index.php?title=Britney_Spears#Britlexia Britlexia] which makes it very difficult for them to read a sales chart released before 1986 or after 2001.
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==Stan Enemies==
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===Madonna Stans===
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Strut, point, sneer, dance breakdown.
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Strut, point, sneer, dance breakdown.
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Strut, point, sneer, dance breakdown.
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Janet stans have to live with the fact that anything Janet has done, Madonna has done on a larger scale, and if ever they forget it there are always a few Madonna stans willing to remind them.
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==Career Inspirations==
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===Beyonce Stans===
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/mj.gif
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Janet Stans have a type of Chronic Shade Disorder which makes it impossible for them to comment on a Janet-related Youtube video without bringing Beyonce’s name into it
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==Career Highlights==
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Examples:
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* She has won more Soul Train Music Awards than any artist, ever in history and you will all have to deal.
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* 5 Grammys
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* Over 100 million records sold around the world
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* 11th Best Selling Female Artist ever in the U.S.
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* 10 #1 Singles on the Hot 100
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* 19 Dance #1 singles
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* First and only artist in history to produce seven top five hits from one album
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* Album sales (1986-2001)
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* Single success (1986-2001)
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* Most successful debut tour in history.
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* Video catalog
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* She’s a Jackson
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/jan_shade1.jpg
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==How To Talk Like a Janet Stan==
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/jan_shade2.jpg
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/jan_shade1.jpg
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/jan_shade3.jpg
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/jan_shade2.jpg
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Some Janet stans believe that Beyonce is just a wannabe, and he’ll never be as big as Janet. The real reason Beyonce gets some Janet stans in a tizzy is because Beyonce is the new pussy on the block and has the kind of career Janet used to have (plus Grammys and live singing)  Although you can see some Janet influences in a lot of newer artists, Miss Jackson was not the alpha and omega of Black female entertainment. Beyonce has shown love to Janet, but she owes a bigger debt to Tina Turner and Diana Ross.  
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/jan_shade3.jpg
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*Janet stans have also been known to get themselves in a tizzy over Britney stans, Lady Gaga stans, and any newer, younger, currently relevant artist that reminds them of the good ole days.
 
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==Stan War Ammunition==
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==How To Piss Off a Janet Stan==
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*Album sales (1986-2001)
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/upclose.jpg
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*Single success (1986-2001)
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*Most successful debut tour in history.
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*Video catalog
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*Reputation as live performer
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*The Icon card
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*She’s a Jackson
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==Stan War Weaknesses==
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/sticky.jpg
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*The “Has-Been” factor
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/patbee1.gif
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*Criticism about onstage Lip-Synching (even on ballads)
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*Weight Gain Jokes
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*The fact that Madonna repeatedly snatched her Rhythm Nation ponytail.
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*She’s a Jackson
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==How Janet Stans & Hates Can End End Stan Wars==
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/justin.jpg
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Janet Stans can end stan wars by understanding that even if Janet hadn't taken her tidday sack out, she was creeping up on the point in her career that most icons experience. It's the point where mainstream/general support for their new music starts to decline. This has happened to Prince, Madonna, the Rolling Stones, ect. But even though people don't get as excited for your new music they will (usually) pay top dollar to see you in concert. For whatever reason, people didn't care for her latest tour (it's odd that you go from doing 3 shows in certain cities to nearly half-full in the same cities) but that's over and done. You still can't touch Janet's discography and videography...
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/damitajo.jpg
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...unless you're Madonna...
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/20yo.jpg
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...or Michael. But I digress.
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/discipline.jpg
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Janet "haters" need to learn to respect those who came before your favorites. Even if you don't like or understand their work, you should still respect them for them for their innovations. Yes Janet stans are delusional skid marks, but 20 years from now you will also be a bitter, balding queen on a computer hating on younger artists. Your parents hate on your music, their parents hated on their music, and so on... It's the circle of shade.
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http://www.stan-wars.com/mediawiki/images/janet/cancelled.jpg

Revision as of 05:13, 27 May 2011

Janet Jackson
default.jpg

Contents

Artist Bio

Janet Jackson is a R&B/Pop/Dance icon famous for elaborate stage shows, videos, and 15-year long string of successful singles, albums, and tours.

In 2004, she took her titty out and popped Justin Timberlake in the eye with it like a sock full of nickels. The media crucified her; the mainstream industry blacklisted her and pretty much erased 20 years of accomplishments.

In 2009, her brother passed away and because of media sympathy (and guilt) she was the shit again from mid-September to early-November 2009 before people diverted their attention back to these two lesbians.

Performance Style

Strut, point, sneer, dance breakdown. Strut, point, sneer, dance breakdown. Strut, point, sneer, dance breakdown.

Career Inspirations

mj.gif

Career Highlights

  • She has won more Soul Train Music Awards than any artist, ever in history and you will all have to deal.
  • 5 Grammys
  • Over 100 million records sold around the world
  • 11th Best Selling Female Artist ever in the U.S.
  • 10 #1 Singles on the Hot 100
  • 19 Dance #1 singles
  • First and only artist in history to produce seven top five hits from one album
  • Album sales (1986-2001)
  • Single success (1986-2001)
  • Most successful debut tour in history.
  • Video catalog
  • She’s a Jackson

How To Talk Like a Janet Stan

jan_shade1.jpg

jan_shade2.jpg

jan_shade3.jpg


How To Piss Off a Janet Stan

upclose.jpg

sticky.jpg

patbee1.gif

justin.jpg

damitajo.jpg

20yo.jpg

discipline.jpg

cancelled.jpg

Personal tools